Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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