New low: just hacked my moms facebook
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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