Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
