thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
