toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
