New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
