please come you make the beer taste better
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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