no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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