hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
