I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Can I color on your dick again?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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