$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
