he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I party with great urgency now.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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