whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
