Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How external is "for external use only"?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
