this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
