Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
