the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize