i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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