I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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