is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
