it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
