Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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