two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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