ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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