you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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