I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
