i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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