I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
did i just pee glitter
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize