how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
