his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
