i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
