saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
