took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
