saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
