Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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