It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
