Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
