We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
