honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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