its not stalking. its research.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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