So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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