If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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