I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
the liver wants what the liver wants
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
