I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
