GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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