I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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