its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
