I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
