Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
