If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
