So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
