It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
