Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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