either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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