I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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