Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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