i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
