Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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