I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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