I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
