if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize