i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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