Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
