Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
