is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
