I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
