You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
