You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
