You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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