There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
