If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
