Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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