epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
