OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
