I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
