Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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