And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
