Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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