my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
